At ease, Captain! Proudly proclaim your appreciation for one of America's most treasured, ahem, assets with this new scrunchie.

Product Specs and Size Chart
• 94% polyester, 6% spandex (fabric composition may vary by 2%)
• Smooth and stretchy fabric outside, elastic inside
• Made of leftover materials from the manufacturing of other products
• Weight: 0.53 oz (15 g)
• One size
• Removable bow detail
• Blank product components sourced from China